⚽ If World Cup teams were Rhode Island power players

The World Cup begins today, which means it’s time for one of Rhode Map’s favorite traditions: confidently making comparisons that are based on little more than vibes.

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To celebrate the tournament, I’ve assigned each of the 48 World Cup teams to a Rhode Island political figure. This exercise is not scientific. It has not been reviewed by political scientists, soccer experts, or attorneys, but it should absolutely serve as your guide for the next month.

Some comparisons are based on reputation. Others are based on style. A few are based on pure instinct. None should be taken too seriously.

Agree? Great.

Disagree? Even better.

Let’s begin.

Rhode Island match: Former governor Gina Raimondo

What to know: Ball-dominant, flashy squad considered to be the star of the tournament.

Rhode Island match: Former House speaker Joe Shekarchi

What to know: Eyes are on their every move.

Rhode Island match: Governor Dan McKee

What to know: Experienced squad hoping to break through this year.

Rhode Island match: Gubernatorial candidate Helena Foulkes

What to know: One of the most promising teams hoping to finally win it all.

Rhode Island match: AFL-CIO President Pat Crowley

What to know: Flashy, headline-making and capable of anything.

Rhode Island match: Secretary of State Gregg Amore

What to know: Always a threat to win, but keeping a low profile.

Rhode Island match: US Senator Jack Reed

What to know: Veteran squad that knows how to handle its business.

Rhode Island match: US Senator Sheldon Whitehouse

What to know: Consistent, very little drama, focused on getting the job done.

Rhode Island match: House Speaker Chris Blazejewski

What to know: Superb high-scoring squad ready to prove itself on the biggest stage.

Rhode Island match: Senate President Val Lawson

What to know: Deep on experience with big expectations.

Rhode Island match: Former congressman David Cicilline

What to know: All the skill and pace you could ask for.

Rhode Island match: US Representative Seth Magaziner

What to know:Turned heads in 2022 and now has something to prove.

Rhode Island match: Lieutenant Governor Sabina Matos

What to know: Full of potential but still has to prove itself.

Rhode Island match: Providence Mayor Brett Smiley

What to know: Fox Sports calls this squad “safe, boring and effective.”

Rhode Island match: LIUNA’s Mike Sabitoni

What to know: Always a factor.

Rhode Island match: Attorney general candidate Kim Ahern

What to know: Lots of scoring options and a bright future.

Rhode Island match: Democratic Party Chair Liz Beretta-Perik

What to know: High expectations to win now.

Rhode Island match: Cranston Mayor Ken Hopkins

What to know:Tough, defensive-minded and resilient.

Rhode Island match: Attorney General Peter Neronha

What to know: You can’t take your eyes off this attacking squad.

Rhode Island match: Businessman Joe Paolino

What to know: Veteran squad, but still has something to prove.

Rhode Island match: Newport Councilman and lieutenant gubernatorial candidate Xay Khamsyvoravong

What to know: Dark horse of the tournament but playing in a tough group.

Rhode Island match: TreasurerJames Diossa

What to know: Plenty of talent. Now has to prove it on the pitch.

Rhode Island match: Gubernatorial candidate Ken Block

What to know: Intense, energetic and highly capable.

Rhode Island match: Gubernatorial candidate Aaron Guckian

What to know: Up-and-comer hoping to make a mark.

Rhode Island match: State Representative and Providence mayoral candidate David Morales

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What to know: Possibly the most passionate fan base in the tournament.

Rhode Island match: House Majority Leader Katherine Kazarian

What to know: The Daily Mirror describes them as “the chaotic, youthful wildcard with everything to prove.”

Rhode Island match: Warwick Mayor Frank Picozzi

What to know: Resilient, not flashy.

Rhode Island match: 2022 Republican gubernatorial nominee Ashley Kalus

What to know: Loves to muck it up.

Rhode Island match: Attorney general candidate Keith Hoffmann

What to know: Poised for a breakout.

Rhode Island match: Senate Minority Leader Jessica de la Cruz

What to know: Young, explosive, lots of potential.

Rhode Island match: State Representative and attorney general candidate Joe Solomon Jr.

What to know: Calculating, stingy defense with potential to pull an upset.

Rhode Island match: Pawtucket Mayor Don Grebien

What to know: Counter-attacking squad with loads of talent, but concerns about recent form.

Rhode Island match: Central Falls Mayor Maria Rivera

What to know:Lots of fans pulling for them.

Rhode Island match: Senate Minority Leader Frank Ciccone

What to know: Considered soccer’s ultimate survivalists.

Rhode Island match: Providence Councilwoman and lieutenant gubernatorial candidate Sue AnderBois

What to know:Fast-attacking with an ability to play spoiler.

Rhode Island match: Former Providence mayor Jorge Elorza

What to know: Knows how to make waves.

Rhode Island match: House Minority Leader Michael Chippendale

What to know: Underrated, stingy on defense.

Rhode Island match: East Providence Mayor Bob DaSilva

What to know:Technically savvy with the ability to surprise.

Rhode Island match: Lieutenant gubernatorial candidate John Loughlin

What to know: Intriguing, technical, and experienced.

Rhode Island match: Lieutenant gubernatorial candidate Cindy Coyne

What to know: Scrappy underdog in a tough group.

Rhode Island match: Gubernatorial candidate Elaine Pelino

What to know: Just happy to be here.

Rhode Island match: State Representative and attorney general candidate Jason Knight

What to know: Underdog with a chip on its shoulder.

Rhode Island match: State Senator Sam Bell

What to know: Loves a good fight.

Rhode Island match: Rhode Island GOP Chairman Allyn Meyers

What to know: Building for the future.

Rhode Island match: Congressional candidate Dr. Stephen Skoly

What to know: Stubborn on defense, nothing to lose.

Rhode Island match: Congressional candidate Vic Mellor

What to know: Tricky to predict with a chance to turn heads.

Rhode Island match: Gubernatorial candidate Greg Stevens

What to know: No chance to advance, but still in the field.

Rhode Island match: Senate candidate Connor Burbridge

What to know: Longest of longshots. Nothing to do but improve.

This story first appeared in Rhode Map, our free newsletter about Rhode Island that also contains information about local events, links to interesting stories, and more. If you’d like to receive it via email Monday through Friday, you can sign up here.

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